PANCUT
Ayg: bang, goncang sikit2 dah la. nnti terpancut!
Abg: pancut bru best
Ayg: dahla, nnti habis basah
Abg: takpe, abang try bukak pelan2.
Ayg: nnti habis melekit
Abg: syg jgn bimbang, air coca-cola je ni.
KENTUT
org Amerika kentut ckp EXCUSE ME
org British kentut ckp PARDON ME
org Singapore kentut ckp FORGIVE ME
org kita kentut ckp NOT ME! NOT ME!
UUUU
surung pupun turuk pupun
buuh kurunju dulum puruhu
suruh mukun suyu mukun
suruh munguju suyu tuk tuhu
"control sikit muncung tuu..."
MONKEYS
3 monkeys escaped from the zoo
1 was caught watching tv
another 1 was playing football
and the other 1
*
*
*
*
*
No! No! it's not you!
why you always think you
are a monkey?
CONDOM vs KOTEX
Condom: Bullshit u! every month u stop my business for 1
week! Damn!
Kotex: Aaaaahhhhh!! if u make 1 single mistake, i'll lose my
business for 9 months!
SABAH
pergi sabah naik basikal,
naik basikal pergi ke sabah,
ade ke munasabah & masuk akal,
nak pergi sabah naik basikal?
memang tak masuk akal!
KATAK HIJAU
pada suatu ari kita pegi ke sebuah gua.
penjaga gua tu kate, dlm gua tu ada katak ijau.
jgn pijak katak tu sbb klu pijak, dpt suami tak hensem.
dlm gua tu saya je terpijak katak ijau, tapi awak tak.
pastu, tiba masa kita kawin. suami saya mmg tak hensem.
tapi suami awak hensem. saya tak puas ati la!
so saya tanya suami awak kenapa kawin ngan awak? saya lg cantik
malah berganda cantik dr awak. pastu dia jwb "nak wat caner, dulu saya pun terpijak katak ijau tuu..."
WARNING!!
children playing outside the car
can cause accident.
adult playing inside the car
can cause children!
SETEM
pos malaysia akan mengeluarkan setem
gambar KEMALUAN lelaki. ini mengelirukan
kaum wanita, bahagian mana yg perlu dijilat
depan ke belakang?
4 KEISTIMEWAAN WANITA
1-berdarah tiap2 bulan tapi tak mati2
2-hidang susu fresh tanpa pergi kekedai
3-mengeraskan hot dog tanpa peti sejuk
4-ditikam bertubi2 tapi tak mati2
SWEET
a lollipop said to a chocolate "Damn we're sooo sweeeet!"
the chocolate replied "Sweet? u should see the person who
send this message. fuh, lagi sweet!"
Fewiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt
Selasa, Jun 24, 2008
Mat murid kesayang ku....
PART I
Cikgu Nasyor sedang mengendali kelasnya dalam aktiviti sukan di padang sekolah. Seperti biasa, Cikgu Nasyor akan menyuruh murid²nya melakukan regangan otot. Tiba di satu bahagian, dimana murid² baring dan mengangkat kaki lalu menggerakkannya seperti sedang mengayuh basikal. Cikgu Nasyor asyik memerhati seorang muridnya yang pada mulanya menggerakkan kakinya tiba² memberhentikan kakinya. Lalu Cikgu Nasyor menyergah muridnya yang bernama Mat.
Cikgu Nasyor: "Woiiii Mat, apa sebab kau berhenti ni hah"
Mat : "Oh Cikgu Nasyor, basikal saya tengah turun bukit Cikgu, sebab tu saya berhenti.Takkan nak kayuh jugak."
PART II
Waktu sekolah telah tamat. Sebelum keluar kelas, Cikgu Nasyor telah bertanya kpd murid²nya.
Cikgu : Siapa nak masuk/pergi syurga?
Semua murid mengangkat tangan kecuali Mat lalu Cikgu Nasyor pun bertanya,
Cikgu : Mat, kenapa awak tak nak pergi/masuk syurga?
Mat : Mak saya kata lepas habis sekolah, terus balik rumah..jangan pergi mana-mana.
PART III
Cikgu Nasyor sedang mengajar Bahasa Melayu dalam kelas 1 Mawar...
Cikgu : Mat, boleh kamu buat ayat dengan menggunakan perkataan tepung?
Mat : Itu senang saja cikgu.. ayatnya ialah.... emak sedang membuat kek di dapur.
Cikgu : Mana tepungnya??
Man : Tepung kan ke dalam kek tu.... Cikgu nie tak sekolah ke hape??
PART V
Cikgu Nasyor : Joe, cuba terangkan apakah tugas akar pokok pisang?
Joe : Untuk mencari makanan, cikgu
Cikgu Nasyor : Bagus! Sekarang giliran Wati pulak. Apakah tugas batang pokok pisang?
Wati : Untuk membawa makanan yang dicari akarnya, cikgu.
Cikgu Nasyor : Bagus! Sekarang giliran Mat pula. Apakah tugas daun pisang?
Mat :untuk membungkus nasi lemak, cikgu...
Cikgu Nasyor : uii... lagi bagus... berdiri atas meja sampai habis kelas..Ah Beng Sengal
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, "My Mobile
No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"
==============================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud father, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
==============================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
==============================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I d! ie will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
==============================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.
==============================
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."
==============================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."
==============================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
==============================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
==============================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says
"Hello, how did you know I was here?"
==============================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
==============================
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"
==============================
Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."
==============================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM
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